Category Archives: Sports

5 things professional athletes are allowed to do that you can’t

Don’t you wish you were a professional athlete? Not only would you be rich and famous, you’d be adored by millions and never have to buy another drink in your life. Well it turns out there are a lot of other less-talked-about perks to being a pro athlete. Let’s take a look at five things they can get away with that you can’t. Continue reading

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Phelps on TV: A fish out of water

Anyone who watched Saturday Night Live’s season opener realized almost instantly that Michael Phelps, the guest host, simply isn’t cut out for this sort of thing. As brilliant as he was in the pool in Beijing, he was just as … Continue reading

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Fave five: Sports trophies

 They’re the symbols of greatness for which all great athletes yearn. No, not hot groupies and millions of dollars. The trophies you shallow fools! So what’s your favorite? Here are our fave five, ranked in order. 5. THE GREEN JACKET What: … Continue reading

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Bolt could’ve run 100 meters in 9.55 seconds

Many sports and Olympics fans have wondered just how fast Usain Bolt could have run the 100 meters in Beijing if he hadn’t been prancing like a show girl toward the finish line. Well, it looks like someone went and … Continue reading

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That’s retarded: Fore!

Cool: Hitting a golf ball off a mountain top. Retarded: Using your backpack as a tee, hitting it fat, and — oops! — say goodbye to your backpack! The guy does deserve credit, however, for laughing at himself. At least … Continue reading

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