Author Archives: averagebob

About averagebob

Hi. My name is Bob and I'm an average guy. In fact, I'm about as average as they come. In school, my grades were decent, but not great. I'm pretty good at sports, when I'm competing against average athletes. And I'm definitely an overachiever -- at least when I don't have to work too hard at it. I've got a wife, two kids and a dog, and live in middle-class suburbia, where the average person looks -- more or less -- like me. Everyday, I see things that make me shake my average-sized, modestly quaffed head. With all the wackiness in the news and on the Internet, it's about time someone average got to give their take on the insanity, and inanity, of this world.

5 things professional athletes are allowed to do that you can’t

Don’t you wish you were a professional athlete? Not only would you be rich and famous, you’d be adored by millions and never have to buy another drink in your life. Well it turns out there are a lot of other less-talked-about perks to being a pro athlete. Let’s take a look at five things they can get away with that you can’t. Continue reading

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When a refugee reviews Hungary on Yelp …

Our stay in Hungary so far has been an absolute delight!

We have been walking for awhile, and this vacation across Europe has been a lot more tiring than we expected, but we have experienced nothing but kindness from the fine government which has so warmly received me and my family this week. Continue reading

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Posted in Humor | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

A memo to the Baltimore Police Department: My brother is on the loose!

A message for the Baltimore Police Department: Please be on the lookout for my brother. He’s about 6-0, maybe 175 pounds. He is not armed but can be mildly dangerous if cornered. He also runs pretty fast. He doesn’t live in Baltimore, … Continue reading

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Christopher Columbus tries to convince the Lil’ General to support his voyage

When Christopher Columbus persuaded King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain to support his voyage into the West, it changed the course of world history.

But imagine if Columbus was trying to convince the Lil’ General to support his quest. Continue reading

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An idea for any young adult who complains of boredom: Go fuck yourself

I hear it all the time. At work. At the gym. At the mall. At the store.

It usually comes from the mouth of an adult somewhere between the ages of 18-30, and generally sounds something like this: (in a very annoying voice) “Oh my God, I’m sooooooo bored.”

I have an idea for any person who says this: Go fuck yourself. Continue reading

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