Don’t you wish you were a professional athlete? Not only would you be rich and famous, you’d be adored by millions and never have to buy another drink in your life.
Well it turns out there are a lot of other less-talked-about perks to being a pro athlete. Let’s take a look at five things they can get away with that you can’t.
P.S.: I normally don’t do lists, but this time I couldn’t resist. So cut me some slack unless you want “The Papelbon Treatment.”
5. Drive like a maniac
Watch your insurance rates soar when you do this, assuming they don’t take your license away.
4. Beat up random people just because
Imagine what would happen to you if you did this to your boss. Now think about the fact that Pacman Jones didn’t even get kicked out of the game for doing this to Amari Cooper.
3. Dress like an idiot
Russell Westbrook dresses like this and everyone thinks it’s cool. You do it, and well … just don’t.
2. Choke your co-workers
No matter how badly you want t0 — and we’ve all been there — you just can’t do it. Jonathan Papelbon got a four-game suspension for doing this to Bryce Harper, the likely NL MVP. Go choke your company’s MVP and see what happens.
Let’s say you stole secrets from a competing corporation. Or maybe tampered with the tools of your trade to gain a competitive advantage. Think you’d get a slap on the wrist?
You fellas find something amusing?