5 things professional athletes are allowed to do that you can’t

Don’t you wish you were a professional athlete? Not only would you be rich  and famous, you’d be adored by millions and never have to buy another drink in your life.

Well it turns out there are a lot of other less-talked-about perks to being a pro athlete. Let’s take a look at five things they can get away with that you can’t.

P.S.: I normally don’t do lists, but this time I couldn’t resist. So cut me some slack unless you want “The Papelbon Treatment.”

5. Drive like a maniac

Watch your insurance rates soar when you do this, assuming they don’t take your license away.

4. Beat up random people just because

Imagine what would happen to you if you did this to your boss. Now think about the fact that Pacman Jones didn’t even get kicked out of the game for doing this to Amari Cooper.

3. Dress like an idiot

Russell Westbrook dresses like this and everyone thinks it’s cool. You do it, and well … just don’t.


2. Choke your co-workers

No matter how badly you want t0 — and we’ve all been there — you just can’t do it. Jonathan Papelbon got a four-game suspension for doing this to Bryce Harper, the likely NL MVP. Go choke your company’s MVP and see what happens.


  1. Cheat

Let’s say you stole secrets from a competing corporation. Or maybe tampered with the tools of your trade to gain a competitive advantage. Think you’d get a slap on the wrist?

You fellas find something amusing?


About averagebob

Hi. My name is Bob and I'm an average guy. In fact, I'm about as average as they come. In school, my grades were decent, but not great. I'm pretty good at sports, when I'm competing against average athletes. And I'm definitely an overachiever -- at least when I don't have to work too hard at it. I've got a wife, two kids and a dog, and live in middle-class suburbia, where the average person looks -- more or less -- like me. Everyday, I see things that make me shake my average-sized, modestly quaffed head. With all the wackiness in the news and on the Internet, it's about time someone average got to give their take on the insanity, and inanity, of this world.
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