Phelps on TV: A fish out of water

Anyone who watched Saturday Night Live’s season opener realized almost instantly that Michael Phelps, the guest host, simply isn’t cut out for this sort of thing. As brilliant as he was in the pool in Beijing, he was just as awkward onstage in front of a live audience and television cameras. He stumbled across his [...]

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Fave five: Sports trophies

 They’re the symbols of greatness for which all great athletes yearn. No, not hot groupies and millions of dollars. The trophies you shallow fools! So what’s your favorite? Here are our fave five, ranked in order. 5. THE GREEN JACKET What: A groovy coat you get for winning the Masters Bad: If it was a green [...]

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Bolt could’ve run 100 meters in 9.55 seconds

Many sports and Olympics fans have wondered just how fast Usain Bolt could have run the 100 meters in Beijing if he hadn’t been prancing like a show girl toward the finish line. Well, it looks like someone went and figured it out. According to a study by the Institute of Theoretical Astrophysics at the [...]

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That’s retarded: Fore!

Cool: Hitting a golf ball off a mountain top. Retarded: Using your backpack as a tee, hitting it fat, and — oops! — say goodbye to your backpack! The guy does deserve credit, however, for laughing at himself. At least he knows he’s retarded. Hopefully the backpack didn’t contain anything crucial like, you know, food, [...]

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No pooping on Bolt’s party

For those of you who thought Usain Bolt celebrated a little too much at the Olympics — we’re looking at you Mr. Rogge — all we can say is LIGHTEN UP FRANCIS! Seriously, if you were 22 years old and had just done something equally amazing, like say, served 1,000 more burgers in an hour [...]

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