Researching what beautiful women want (so you don’t have to!)

I would like to make a request of my handful of faithful AB readers out there. Please spread the word. I am now accepting research money for a special project I have dreamed up. It will be ground-breaking and Earth-shaking. It will challenge every pre-conceived notion you have ever had about life and set the [...]

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In death, world’s oldest man leaves lesson on how to live

Walter Bruening died on Thursday in Great Falls, Mont. at the age of 114. He leaves behind 111 years of memories – think about that! – and a wealth of wisdom, including the secrets to living a long life. Among Bruening’s tips: Embrace change, even when it slaps you in the face. (“Every change is [...]

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This is not intended to be a factual blog post

Arizona Sen. Jon Kyl is a cheapskate who only tips about 5 percent. He tears the tags off his mattresses, runs with scissors whenever possible, and refuses to recycle. He hates freedom, ice cream and kittens. He is a card-carrying member of NAMBLA, and is involved in one of the most prominent crime families in [...]

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